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decembro 18-a, 2006

03:34 pm haha last entry september 1. it's now... december 18th? i don't even know why i have one of these things anymore. i think it's because i don't know how to delete nor do i care. i don't even know who reads this thing. probably nobody. what's new you say? i'm jobless... still... went through 2 since the last entry. i'm back at home. my mom's been acting somewhat normal now so i can stand being around her and we're getting along quite well. my sister's getting married soon and her and her fiance just bought their first house (where i be right now). it's very nice. i'm very proud. she's now living the life that i've always planned to live. fuck plans. the guy that i was kinna with (friends with benefits if you will) has left the state. he still calls me almost every day to tell me how much he misses me. i'll visit him soon. maika's gonna be here in... 12 days i believe. maybe 13. i don't feel like adding right now. my stomach hurts. i really need to shower. Nuna humoro: dirty

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septembro 1-a, 2006

02:08 pm dude. you have no idea how excited i am to see my favorite band IN THE WORLD! yes yes i'm going to see tool so FUCKING excited. Current Location: my sista's house Nuna humoro: anxious Nuna muziko: perfect gentleman

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aŭgusto 23-a, 2006

12:07 pm so how long has it friggin been since i've done this? i say. quite a long time. i had an interesting past coule of weeks. sex drugs ROCK AND ROLL! i beez 18 now. i beez homeless now. i beez jobless now. i've never been happier. which is strange. i've gotten closer to everyone. i've been hanging out with different people. and they're all awesome. i started at the JC on monday. i only have 2 classes. 6 credits. mondays and wednesdays 9am-10:30 i have comparitive mythology with the most boring man i have ever encountered. interesting stuff though. monday 6pm-9:00 i have woman's history. 35 women in the class and one guy. only because he's dating one of the chicks in the class. haha. well, i'm gonna take a shower, go to juvi, then go to petaluma. peace. Current Location: mi hermana Nuna humoro: WOOT Nuna muziko: CALIFORNIA LOOOOOOOOOVE

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junio 21-a, 2006

11:50 am you all suck Current Location: CARRIE'S HOUSE Nuna humoro: dancing Nuna muziko: Grinspoon Tags: what?

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junio 9-a, 2006

10:32 am I GRADUATE TOMORROW!!!! YEAAAAA! fuckin awesome. ummm. yea. Nuna humoro: accomplished Nuna muziko: carrie saying, "toby!"

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majo 14-a, 2006

04:34 am woah. crazy. long time no livejournal. i forgot the internet even existed. i haven't missed livejournal or myspace of which was part of my daily schedule back in the day when i had the internet. fuck that shit. whatever. nothing new. i moved to santa rosa today. i like boys. 2 in particular are sending me strange messages. stop with the small talk and get with it, damnit. graduation is in 16 school days. hard to friggin believe. can't wait to get out of there or soon you'll see my brains on the walls. i'm at carrie's and i'm having a lovely time talking about issues and now she's reading a book as i type? what book? i dunno. whatever. it's 4:37 in the morning and it's quite past my bedtime. i am so goddamn tired. goodnight. Current Location: carrie's house Nuna humoro: tired Nuna muziko: i have incubus-admiration stuck in my head

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marto 31-a, 2006

08:02 am so, i got a job. Flavor. it's a fine dining restaurant. i'm a hostess. hell yes. so, i'm moving. in with my mother. today is the last day we're supposed to be here. my dad made me stay home from school so i can pack. then i have to go to work until about 10:30. same with tomorrow night. no weekend. lame. so, i ran into the person i've been talking about in the past few entries. it was pretty awkward. i was sitting on a bench on kentucky street with a few people. he was walking down kentucky. couldn't tell it was him from the face, but i could tell it was him from the walk. the he got closer... and tipped his hat at me. whatever so, maika's leaving in two weeks. fuck that shit. i am just really fucking depressed right now. fuck. Nuna humoro: bitchy Nuna muziko: tool. wtf else.

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marto 26-a, 2006

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marto 11-a, 2006

10:29 am - i don't feel no pain. i don't have no time to listen to conflicting points of view! so there i was sitting on a skateboard. whose? i have no clue. jesse to my left. austin to my right. pretty sure vanessa was in front of me. then a human zoomed in front of me and sat next to me on the skateboard. my drunken brain took a while to register. i turn. there he is. me, "woah. hey." him, "heeey." i have no idea how long we were sitting there. him with is arm around me. jesse still to my left. austin still to my right. vanessa may have been in front of me. freezing my ass off. two horny drunk kids on a skateboard. him, "we could stay warm in my van." i don't remember going to the van. i remember him driving and saying how pro he was. yea. he was parked in the parking garage. he had to move his car so brice wouldn't give him shit. then brice would surely give me shit. so we're there. in the car. with a blanket over us. oh deary where have my clothes gone to? then his friend/my friend came to the van. that was awkward. cuz i was naked. then he goes, "you can get dressed and i'm gonna go take a piss." then he shuts the door. i hear his friend say, "so was it good?" fuckin idiot. haha then he took me home. i kissed him goodbye with his friend in the background, "aaaaw kodack moment!" mmmm Nuna humoro: giddy Nuna muziko: sublime- 40oz to freedom

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februaro 26-a, 2006

09:31 pm - LSD for me today was the greatest day ever. i just got so prepared to type the whole story. but now i really don't want to. you just had to be there. i haven't laughed that much that hard in so fucking long. it was just spectacular. then while coming home i was enjoying life more than anything. then as soon as we arrived in penngrove, i couldn't. nothing was making me depressed or anything, just all of a sudden, i couldn't enjoy it. then me and maika saw what we thought was a bus driving down my street. laughter. then we realized it was an ambulence. ::bad trip begins now:: i was scared. then i remembered what coca said that when ambulences drive away without their lights and sirens on, that could mean that they were dead. is everyone okay? is my dad okay? i was scared. maika reassured me though. everything's fine. so we sat in her car for a minute and tripped out on the trees swaying in the wind. wonderful. i love this drug. Nuna humoro: indescribable Nuna muziko: the faint

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februaro 18-a, 2006

10:53 am well. fuck. where to fuckin start. it was a strange night last night. me and vanessa, bummin change for quite sometime for booze. we decide FUCK IT! let's jack a bottle. so we go to albertson's. groobs drove by and picked us up. thanks groobs! we drank some bacardi. DRUUUUUUUUUUUNK!!!!!!!! i found out austin's going out with calie. that was strange. ran into jesse. that's strange on its own... but even stranger is that he got back with his ex. hahahahaha. oh lord. then lots of blurr. hung out with ricky for a wee bit. fell asleep on the couch in phoenix for a bit. tom closed the phoenix. stood outside freezing my ass off. vanessa went home. then the people i was with decide, hey.. let's just chill in my van. it's warmer. ok. we were laying in the back. he had his arm around me petting me. the third wheel left and then... i... hooked... up... with.... him.... ha. yea. it was pretty hot. i'm not mentioning names on here for a reason. so shut the fuck up. it was kiiinnna strange. cuz like.. i've hung out with him before... like twice. never really knew him that well, then BAM! yea. he's a neat guy. then he took me home at around 3:30. ha. REALLY LOVE YOUR PEACHES WANNA SHAKE YOUR TREE! LOVEY DOVEY LOVEY DOVEY LOVEY DOVEY ALL THE TIIME! i'm a picker, i'm a grinner, i'm a lover, i'm a sinner, playing my music in the sun. i'm joker, i'm a smoker, i'm a midnight toker, get my lovin on the run. Nuna humoro: giddy Nuna muziko: steve miller band

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februaro 15-a, 2006

08:35 pm i feel sorry for people that don't have time to enjoy your surroundings. today i was walking to my night class and i have never seen the clouds look so utterly awesome. it's something you only see in a painting. and it was live in front of my face. then there was a lady walking infront of me talkin business on her cellphone, staring at her watch constantly, carrying a briefcase, wearin a business suit, and walking really fast. i'm sure if she weren't doing so she would have looked up and saw something amazing. then i saw this hippy looking gal and she was crossing the street, looking at the clouds, and smiling. and that made me smile. i love life. for once, i have nothing to be depressed about and it's so fucking relieving. i mean, yea. occasionally i find myself reflecting about when i was with him. it's nice to remember. but it doesn't put a damper on my day like it used to. i love life. Nuna humoro: i love life.

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februaro 8-a, 2006

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februaro 5-a, 2006

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februaro 4-a, 2006

10:02 am - dun dun duuuuun big jim turned 16 yesterday. party at austin's house. fun stuff. uuuuh. austin's a dickhole.... he was being a jackass all night last night. so i called my cab. yelled at austin. i guess i slammed the garage door and walked out and i hear him go, "don't slam the fuckin door you dumb bitch." so i came back saying, "what did you just call me?" then i started yelling at him telling him he's been treating me like shit. started crying in front of everyone, then left. goodtimes. Nuna humoro: so hungover Nuna muziko: flaming lips

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januaro 29-a, 2006

05:58 pm things are changed. what the fuck have i been doing with myself? i SAY things are going to be different. i SAY i'm gonna do my homework, get a job, license, and car. clean the house. i say all these things to help others around me and help myself but do absolutely nothing about it. it gets tiring, frustrating... not being who i want to be. it's funny how i realize this after i run away from home and my mother calls the cops on me and they come to my house. i just hate being not happy. the reason i was like that before is because i can never be home. i hate it here. sitting here in front of my computer with the TV on and no lights. it's depressing. i'm fine with being alone, but not here. that's why i'm never ever here. but then it just turned into something else. it turned into an i don't care about anything so i'd NEVER be home, never see my dad, and never do my homework. aaaand look how that ended up. __ this close to going to san antonio. so things are changed. and austin has a mohawk. wtf. what is he trying to do to me. he KNOWS mohawks make me weak. i swear, if he gets his lip pierced i'm gonna kill him. mmm.... fuck. Nuna humoro: awake Nuna muziko: tv

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januaro 20-a, 2006

11:59 am i hate guys. Nuna humoro: aggravated Nuna muziko: distillers

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januaro 15-a, 2006

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januaro 12-a, 2006

09:18 pm boooooooooooop i'm listening to punk. it's funny. i don't know what to do with myself right now. i'm bored. i'm tired. but i can't sleep. OH. now i'm listening to sage francis. hahaha. i should call jesse. yea. uuuuh. yayuh. that's the gangsta shit. it's like... emo rap... wtf? we tought that dog to squat, how dare he do that shit in our own back yard. make-shift patriot the flag shop is out of stock. i hang myself at half mass. the less we know the more we fabricate, the easier it is to sell a soul. yea... wtf is that shit? it's like, i'm ghetto/i have an opinion/i wanna kill myself. DON'T GIVE ME THAT ETHICAL SHIT!!! my tonsils hurt. austin has strep. poor kid. seriously, if i wanna find out anything, i'm not gonna read time magazine, i'm not gonna read newsweek, i'm not gonna read any of these magazines. i mean cuz they've just got too much to lose by printing the truth. you know that. and if you're thinking what kind of truth? anything! even on a world wide basis. they just go off the stands in a day if they printed reeally the truth. the truth is just a plain picture. systematic shutdown. Nuna humoro: anxious Nuna muziko: sage francis. uh.

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januaro 1-a, 2006

07:53 pm last night was awesome. yesterday kinna sucked. lately i've been feeling quite distant from jesse. we were talking and i told him that. and i didn't tell him, but it's like... the farther we seem to fall apart, the less feelings i seem to have for him. don't get me wrong. i adore him. i'll always have feelings for him, but lately i've been feeling... not as a boyfriend. so i told him we were drifting. i said that i don't know what i want or what he wants so it's just incredibley confusing. then he goes on to say, "i really like you and i really want to be with you and i've just been distant because it's just hella weird that my ex is back in my life. but i don't want that to get in the way of having a relationship with you." hmmm... then he went to his mom's house to take a nap. he told me to call him to say what we're doing for new years. i wanted to be alone. so i called him, said, "i'm really sorry. i just feel like i need 2, 3 days tops to just clear my head. i'm sorry. i'll call you tomorrow." then me and vanessa didn't know what we were gonna do. we were sitting at the phoenix going, "hmm..." then we went to austin's house. i felt like the biggest piece of shit ever. i still do. we were just drinkin at his house. then me and austin were in the kitchen. he could tell something was bothering me. he wanted me to go upstairs with him so we could talk. we went in jared's bed and talked and he basically told me that he still has feelings for me and if jesse weren't in the picture he'd want me back. i told him he was drunk and didn't know what he was talking about. he admitted to being drunk, but not drunk enough to lie about that. "i'll always have feelings for you." so we just layed in bed and talked and cuddled and he kept saying he wanted to kiss me, but... jesse... i didn't sleep last night AT ALL. i went to go fall asleep in the livingroom, but austin somehow managed to push me off the couch in his sleep. then jesus asked me if i wanted to smoke a cigarette. then i couldn't sleep. and neither could jesus, so we kept eachother company. it was fun. then we stole lisa's coffee. then me and vanessa went to her house, where i proceeded to pass out everywhere. and now i'm going to bed. Nuna humoro: sleepy Nuna muziko: afi?

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